A Seaman's Wife's Story Of A Long Distance Relationship

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I'm no love expert but I'm sharing with you, me and my husband's experience as a certified Long Distance Couple. Its 2017 already and it's been 8 years since our story initiated. It was summer of 2009 when our relationship started. Unlike any other couple, we didn't have a very good beginning. Most of our friends were against us because im a badass kolehiyala and he's a responsible student. In our first year, we were so weak. We went through many ups and downs. We had a lot of issues like third party, me being a nagger, and separation anxiety since we'll be graduating soon. Unfortunately,we broke up after graduation. We lost the battle. We parted ways and lived our own lives. He went to Abu Dhabi and I worked in Bonifacio Global City. But just like Kahlil Gibran said, "If you love somebody let them go, if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." He returned here in the Philippines and asked for another chance. That's how we got back to each others arms. 

It was never easy. He needs to stay in our province to gain some experience as a waiter yet I need to stick with my job in the Metro. Despite of our distance to each other, we make sure that we see each other once a month; either I go home in the province or he'll travel to the big city. During that time, he was very down because of what happened in Abu Dhabi and his work in our province is just a waiter with a minimum wage. My love to him is greater than the money that I earn. That's why most of the time I pay the bills whenever he visits me. We we're so happy travelling together, getting used about this whole LDR thing. Suddenly, opportunity came, he was employed to be a waiter in a cruise ship.I got sad because that means most of the time he's gonna be out of the country. To be honest, I don't like the notion of seaman's reputation. I'm sure you know what I'm saying. I  demanded him  to cut all our ties, I asked for a break up because I'm scared that our relationship will be shattered just like before, but he denied.  I hate his job but I love him so much that's why I took the risk. I don't wanna ruin his dreams. I don't wanna be selfish.I still accepted him because he assured to me that the only reason he needs to go is for him to prepare for our future. I was touched by his words. In my mind I was thinking, "Does that mean he wanted to marry me someday? 😍 " 

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The big day came. It's time for him to go. He cried a lot (aww, because he's a cry baby 😁) but I didn't. It is because I have a lot of beautiful and happy memories with him. We invested tons of unforgettable happenings together so I would have something to hold on to when we're away from each other.

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Nowadays, we're lucky enough because of the technology that this world has, we no longer wait for ages just to communicate with our loved ones who are  far away. It is very important to ALWAYS COMMUNICATE when it comes to long distance relationship. You can tell your partner if you're happy or mad. You ask how did his day go and get ready to tell lots of stories to each other. And always make him feel that you're very much interested to know  everything about him. Before entering this kind of relationship, better make sure that you really love one another because you don't wanna waste you time, money (of course you need to pay your phone bills, too!) And effort into someone who is unworthy. If you really think that you're serious about it, then, both of you should learn how to be honest. Whatever it is. There should be NO SECRETS, NO LIES! Or else, trust will be gone and you can kiss each other goodbye. When you talk to each other, it is actually the best time for both of you to PLAN THINGS OUT. Perhaps you two wanna go somewhere for the first time once you see each other soon. So you plan when and where do you wanna go. Who will do the research and bookings. Most of the time, we girls are the ones doing these stuff but it would be much better if you get him involved so both of you will be excited. You can ask him to choose between the hotels you researched or what activities you both wanna do on your trip. It's definitely a great way to kill time. You will have something to look forward to. It's like you can't wait for that day that you two planned to happen. 

Meanwhile, it's just a couple of months passed, but I feel like he have been gone for years already. Yeah, it happens. You get bored and you start to get bitter with every couple you see along the road holdings hands while walking. You don't mind watching all types of movies all by yourself except for romantic movies and horror movies (Who watches horror alone? Nope. Not me.) You feel like Valentine's day is the saddest day of the entire year and so on. To turn the negativity around, you have to BE OPEN-MINDED. If one of you wants to go out alone or with friends, then that should be okay. Don't let your partner's life be miserable. You're not the only person in this planet. He also have friends or maybe family members with him that he wanna go out with to enjoy sometimes.Its funny one time I remember, I got mad at him because he looks so happy and always smiling on his pictures with his colleagues having fun in Alaska. I felt like he don't need me anymore in his life. That he can still live  cheerfully without me. I was so pathetic that time. Then he told me, "Of course, it's a picture so you have to smile. You don't put a sad face when you take picture, right?". He actually got a point. So, don't feel bad if he/she enjoys someone else's company. Human beings need to socialize with other people too. If you trust him/her then there should be no reason for you to hold back. But just a warning, DON'T YOU DARE FORGET YOUR LIMITS! Always think of the long term effects of your act rather than enjoying a short time happiness. Remember, if there's a smoke, there's a fire. That simply means, you can't keep a secret forever.

Sure, we're still young and we'll learn more about life as we age but I always pray to our Lord that He will give us His blessings, more strength to face our daily problems which is being away with each other, and like what the Lord's prayer says, I ask that He would lead us not into temptation. It makes a big big difference if you both put God at the center of your relationship. If the two of you are on the same right path, then we all know where this will lead you. *bells are ringing* 👰👫💐

Finally, after being in connection with each other for over 6 years, we got pregnant and blissfully tied the knot. I'm so lucky that I chose the right man that God gave to me. He is a responsible husband and Dad as always (until DOTA came😣😁) , a man who is true to his words, and a very good provider to our family. Whatever all these people say about your job, I don't care. I won't get tired of defending you to all these bunch of people judging you and generalizing that all seaman is the same. I know you more than all these crap and stereotypes they're throwing. I know you because we are one. You are my husband. We'll always be here patiently waiting for you to come home to me and our daughter...💓💓💓

Xoxo,

Mrs. Gorospe